I just received this email from one of my favorite life coaches, Raymond Aaron, and this is his piece (not mine).  The message is important and relevant to our modern lifestyle…

The Stranger My Dad Brought Home

You are the sum total of your five closest friends.

I have a true story to tell you.

Like most true stories, it contains a lesson.

I hope you will receive it.

It’s the story of…

“The Stranger”

A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town.

From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family.

The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.

As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary
instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey.

But the stranger… he was our storyteller.

He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and humor.

If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn’t seem to mind.

Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to
leave.)

Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them.

Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home… Not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.

My Dad didn’t permit the liberal use of
alcohol.

But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis.

He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished.

He talked way too freely about sex.

His comments were sometimes blatant,
sometimes suggestive, and generally
embarrassing.

I now know that my early concepts about
relationships were influenced strongly by this stranger. Time after time he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked…

And NEVER asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents’ den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

His name?…

We just call him ‘TV.’

Maybe you know him.

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WHY I SHARED THIS STORY NOW
==============================================

I hope you enjoyed that little story. It has a huge moral, and NOW is the perfect time for you to hear it.

Why?

Because at this time of year – just after the New Year’s holiday, many of us have resolved to “change our lives”.

And for most people, the #1 enemy of sticking to those resolutions is our old friend (or is it “fiend”), Mr. TV.

TV is temporarily enjoyable; but in the long run is devastating.

There is practically no real learning on TV.

There is practically no getting out of debt by watching TV – indeed commercials powerfully promote buying what you had no idea you needed 60 seconds earlier.

There is practically no education on doubling your income on TV.

There is practically nothing except the
‘drug’ of pacifying yourself for a few hours with no benefit.

You may protest and say that you NEED a TV to relax. That’s not true. People relaxed before TV.

You may protest and say that you NEED a TV because you have children. That’s not true.
People had children before TV.

Indeed, I myself have a 8-year-old daughter.
When she is at her Mom’s home, she watches TV. When she is at my home we talk, we laugh, we play chess, we swim, we play checkers, we play tic-tac-toe, we exercise, we read, we do homework. In fact, my daughter loves singing. So, she sings and I record her on my FLIP video and post her videos on YouTube. She loves it.

Has she ever complained that Daddy does not have a TV? Sure. But, those complaints have decreased lately because she realizes that they serve no purpose.

Do her friends think I’m crazy when they come to my home with her to play? Yes. Does she feel embarrassed that her Daddy does not have a TV? Maybe. But, those feelings are not as important as the guidance I am showing her and the wonderful moments we share because there is no stranger called TV.

Geez, I wrote this email in less time than most people spent watching TV!

==============================================
NOW, IT’S YOUR CHOICE
==============================================

You have spent your time reading this email and I am grateful and honored. What will you do with it? My suggestions are (from least change to most change):

* Simply record the hours the TV is on and what you learned (this will likely shock you)

* Make a rule as to the maximum number of minutes you will watch TV each day

* Make a rule as to the type of show you will watch and the types of shows you will no longer watch

* Eliminate cable or satellite so that you are limited to only a very few channels possibly with weaker reception

* Move the TV to a less desirable place in the home

* Eliminate all but one TV

* Sell all your TVs on eBay

How much will you do? I don’t know.

But I do know this… the less TV you have in your life, the more room you leave for success.

Something to think about.

Love,

Raymond

PS – With all this “extra” time on your hands now that you’re not watching all that TV, you might want to read my best-selling book. And I’ll give you a copy free…  http://www.freebookfromraymond.com

Social media is the new age where everyone struts their stuff like a Soviet Union general.

Twitter is changing our lives.  In a 140-character mincemeat message, you can create a following – no big deal – and even become a star.   Fake it till you make it has never been easier.

I’ve been around for 59 years and at this stage in my life I have seen every conceivable deception or at least read about many of them.

Everyone wants to be a star and some mortals will go to illegal or unethical extremes to get the spotlight, especially in the Internet age.

The categories that have become ubiquitous on Twitter and other social media stages are  “coaching ” and “consulting.”  Stretching those terms to the breaking point, we are all consultants and coaches-in-the-making.  As a parent, we coach.  As a worker, we coach.  Even as a spouse, we coach.  And with friends and peers, we coach.

I played tennis well when I was younger.  Does that put me in coaching class for the nearby high school?  Hmm?  Let me give it some thought.

Social networking is all about putting your best foot forward and branding yourself.  But from my treasure trove of life experience, only a select few people are good coaches and teachers.  And a 24-year-old lad or lassie with sexual urges and scents dripping from their pores can easily be confused for a coach because of our conscious and not-so-conscious desire to be around testosterone- and estrogen (my word) -driven individuals with charisma and looks.

But while these young people may brand themselves as the real-deal coach/consultant and reel off a dozen questionable qualifications, they are – by and large – frauds and ripoff artists.

A man or a woman who has never been through a major life trauma has not lived.  He or she is usually full of  hot air,  wardrobe, and the drippings of success.  Yet they should be steered clear of (on a coaching basis) 99 percent of the time.

Where is this all leading?  It’s leading to the conclusion that the Internet has become bloated with would-be leaders tooting their shallow horns.  Many are pretenders who have never taken the time to learn their trade from the inside out.  They come from the instant gratification era and they often want something for very little or nothing…NOW!

Find Your Perfect Business!

Coaching and teaching are very important professions.  People are putting their time, money and soul in the hands of a stranger.  They are hoping against hope that the coach is wise, diplomatic, and results oriented.  Just because a person is a maven in SEO or in Law of Attraction methodology, for example, does not in the least qualify them to be a coach.

There are many asshole, know-it-alls who can’t teach and lick…and shouldn’t!  Yet people, in their quest for riches and fame, will follow the shallow to the gallows.  Next time a person of dubious background does his coaching shtick, ask him for several references.

A good friend or speaking companion must not be confused for coaching on the professional level.  On the professional level it must be that near perfect blend of wisdom and ability to get results  for YOU.

Those who crow about their level of financial achievement and are under 30, are probably standing on very shaky ground.  Life does (and will!) bonk you along the way.  If it hasn’t yet, step aside and stop pretending it has.

The character of a fighter is developed when he eventually goes down for the eight count.  Until he/she does, they can only teach us empirically in a classroom setting.

Don’t welcome them into your spiritual living room, no matter how slick or how thick they lay it on you.

Yet remember that everyone has a message worth sharing.  The key is to develop your message through the slings and arrows of a life fully lived.  Then consider teaching/coaching from what you know, not just what you theorize.

Here’s what the big boys  say:

“If you don’t have a Unique Selling Proposition on the Internet, you’re roadkill sooner or later. It’s just a question of when.” ~Perry Marshall~

“The days of “thin affiliates” brokering clicks on the Big G are over.”~Amit Mehta~

“An affiliate promotion is not a career. It’s a test.”~Jonathon Mizel~

It’s astounding how often Internet gurus speak out of both sides of their mouth  while still chewing.  They are eternal optimists defying the law of gravity.  Adwords works, and then it doesn’t.  Then a new angle…and that window of opportunity closes.  The circle never closes.

Here’s the point.  Do you want to run your life and business like an ambulance-chasing lawyer?  The big boys want you to act impulsively and buy whatever gimmick they are selling.

Honestly, most want you to succeed with their strategies and gizmos, and then have your testimonial in order to sell even more of the same.  Yet most people who buy or simply download for nada a report or widget will never use it or profit from it.

Find Your Perfect Business!

All things in this universe are built from the inside (the mind and heart) and then manifested in a product or service.  These gurus  want you to believe that you can skip over the inside part and just roll in money.

But you and I know that a fool and his/her money are soon parted.  No widgety-fidgety tool or report or continuity program will ever work until you believe in yourself.

And belief in yourself starts  with small projects and accomplishments, not in making a killing in FOREX, PPC, Adwords, Google Mail, Video Marketing, or any other gimmick.  They can all work, but only if you are clear about what you want in your life.

So what do you want in your life?  Start to follow your God-given talents, rather than following  all the smooth-talking marketing experts.

A panel discusses the most ingenious marketing campaigns they have ever seen. The panel consisted of
* Mari Smith, referred to as “the Pied Piper of Social Media”
* Joe Polish, one of the world’s best strategic marketers
* Rick Frishman, one of the leading experts on PR on publishing
* Michael Drew, the world expert on creating a best-selling book
* Vishen Lakhiani, a visionary and and expert on corporate culture
* Jim Kwik, online marketing and personal performance expert

Worth a listen.

I have often heard that you can sell without selling. It is common verbal fodder for direct marketers in MLM and other direct selling professions to tell recruits that the product sells itself. It’s a no-brainer to purchase this franchise, this affiliate-ship, this territory, this inventory or whatever. You can’t miss!

As most of us who were thrown out into the urban jungle to hawk encyclopedias or pots and pans, the reality is that with few exceptions we come back home each day battered and badly underpaid. With few exceptions, our sponsors throw us to the sharks and watch with disdain as you fall flat.

Eventually, our highfalutin notions that a “can’t miss” product or service will be the vehicle to a cliff-view home in Monterrey are replaced by out-and-out cynicism. We eventually – sometimes in a blink – give up on our dreamy notion of the good life and settle in for the 40-year grind.

Let me give you and I a cold shower to sober up. Here’s what you must know if you want to be successful:
1) a willingness to be a serial failure before being a resounding success.
2) a willingness to give up some empty, mind-dulling escape activities.
3) a willingness to be ridiculed by peers, family and strangers alike.
4) a willingness to accept coaching and to listen with your defenses down.
5) and ultimately, you must develop a high level of self-esteem and a willingness to sell yourself before your idea, product or service.

So if you run into some smooth-talking direct marketer who tells you their thing is a “Can’t miss!” scheme that sells itself, run – no sprint – in the opposite direction.

Your financial and spiritual life are dependent on recognizing the frauds and deceivers whom cross paths with you. The key is to not allow your mistakes in choosing mentors and products turn you into a deer in headlights.

You must sell yourself in order to succeed in any worthy endeavor on this planet. The plus here is that it is do-able as long as you stay in the game.